Funny Things to Say in Group Text
What'due south better than a few featherbrained quips to make these tough times funnier and cheerful? These hilarious jokes, zingy i-liners, and dry puns will guarantee you lot either a genuine or a pity laugh – just laughter is ever laughter after all and is truly in drastic demand.
I suggest you to read this list, study and memorize information technology – information technology volition help y'all become the quirkiest guy or gal in the room, especially if you're all by yourself in there. Or, beingness the grumpy one-time person that you are, you can set it to the side, try to ignore it and pretend to do what you should be doing anyway – but hey, you got to the end of this paragraph, so why non attempt and give this listing of funny things to say a become? You won't regret it! As well, you'll discover plenty of cranky "voices" venting below. Take fun!
100 Funny Things to Say Over Text
Silliest Funny Quips To Express joy And Cry Forth
ane. Organized religion can motion mountains, but I prefer dynamite.
2. There's no one like me. Thank God!
iii. I'm not always hungry; sometimes I'one thousand sleepy also.
4. My friendship is not for auction, just we tin talk about a short-term rental.
5. If I have dreams, I fight for them… But sometimes I become tired and need to sleep…
6. I'grand not lactose, just some people observe me hard to tolerate.
7. I wish your life is equally good equally information technology seems on your social media accounts!
eight. Every time you ask for information technology, I'll give my advice. But the "I told you so", I'll give without you request for it.
9. If money doesn't purchase happiness, I want to be distressing and rich!
x. What does it thing if it's the weekend when I demand information technology to be the end of the month?
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11. For somebody to love me, it really must exist love, because rich and pretty I for certain am non.
Funny things to say – 12. If a rabbit's human foot brought good luck, the rabbit wouldn't accept lost it to begin with!
13. God created the man before the woman so he wouldn't have to hear suggestions.
14. Do y'all want to know the secret to become rich? Me likewise.
15. Life is like Pilates. If information technology'due south like shooting fish in a barrel, it's wrong.
sixteen. Polar Bears dear the cold. Bipolars sometimes do, sometimes don't.
17. Information technology is very sad when yous're rich, handsome, and sexy, and so the alarm clock rings and ends it all.
18. The secret for a good relationship is not having one.
19. I never brand the same mistake twice… I make information technology about five times but to brand certain it really is a mistake.
xx. If your girlfriend says, "You volition never detect somebody similar me", answer: "give thanks God, I want somebody unlike."
21. I woke up and then sexy today, that instead of yawning, I meowed.
22. I respect the opinion of everybody who agrees with me.
23. A existent man doesn't consume honey. He eats the bees.
24. I had a sweet side, but I ate it.
25. I'g most dressing up equally Pokémon to see if somebody goes looking for me.
26. If I hit somebody with a lexicon, is it verbal or concrete aggression?
27. I was looking for the good side of life but concluded that life is a sphere.
28. Don't exit for tomorrow what you can eat today.
29. Eat everything, because pizza doesn't fatten, chocolate doesn't fatten, candy doesn't fatten, information technology's you that fattens up.
Funny things to say – 30. Live everyday equally if information technology is the terminal. One day you will be right.
31. Learn this: the world doesn't revolve around you. Except when y'all drink too much.
32. Modest and humility are necessary virtues, and only people to a higher place average intelligence, like me, realize that!
33. Fewer words tin often say …
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34. If the ex was skillful enough, God wouldn't tell me to love my neighbor.
35. Love really is blind because it tin can't see me at all.
36. They told me to follow my dreams, so I turned to my side and kept sleeping.
37. If I'd concord with you, we'd both exist incorrect.
38. Don't follow my steps, I'm also lost.
39. Insomnia makes yous a ameliorate mathematician, because you spend all night computing how much time you will be able to sleep.
Funny things to say – forty. Money is non everything. Don't forget the gold, the diamonds, and property.
41. The most painful thing in the world is lying down on the burrow and remember y'all forgot the television receiver remote.
42. A word to the wise is…
43. If you can't laugh at yourself, I can do that for you.
44. I went to expect for what is best for me and ended upwardly opening the fridge.
45. Common sense is similar deodorant – people that demand it the well-nigh never use it.
46. Can we start the weekend again? I was distracted…
47. Grouping assignments helped understand why Batman works solitary.
48. If I won the prize of laziest person, I'd ask somebody to go get information technology for me.
49. I'm an example for others. A bad instance, of course.
l. My problem is that he wanted a serious relationship and I'm a funny girl.
51. It's non that I'one thousand stubborn, I'm just e'er right.
52. I tried to exist normal once… It was the worst two minutes of my life.
53. As is a person, and so is a refrigerator: it'due south what's within that matters.
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54. Gossipy? I'm merely an historian of other people's lives!
55. A horror story in three words: Today is Mon.
56. I'k sleepy all day, and so when I get to bed, I want to bake a cake, write a book, and learn 5 new languages.
57. Nosotros need to invent a new day between Saturday and Sunday.
Funny things to say – 58. In my current state, if I cut an onion, she is the 1 crying.
59. Your opinion is very interesting. In that location'south only one problem: I didn't inquire for it.
60. The commencement v days of the week are the toughest.
61. Civil status: altitude relationship with my bed.
62. Date someone who waits for y'all like I wait for Fri.
63. Some people are similar clouds: they leave, and it brightens my twenty-four hours.
64. If you want to talk about me, say it to my face up. To my back you lot can requite a massage.
65. I'm watching a new series – the series of mistakes I've fabricated in my life.
66. I'k very busy today… Doing several nothings.
67. In that location's but one thing that is worse than waking up early: a holiday on a Sunday.
68. Earlier I was big-headed, merely at present I'm perfect.
69. Laziness is the female parent of all vices, and every bit a mother, she deserves to be respected.
Funny things to say – 70. There are people that enjoy Halloween and so much, that live the whole year in costume.
71. I'm in need of a six-month vacation… Twice a yr!
72. Do y'all know those days in which you wake up full of energy to clean the house? Must be great, never happened to me.
73. Whoever is married to Mrs. Smith for twoscore years doesn't know a affair about marriage, only knows virtually Mrs. Smith. I'yard the ane knowledgeable about matrimony since I was married 6 times.
74. Today is a wonderful twenty-four hour period for you to leave me alone.
75. Abrasive guy – information technology's that guy that has more involvement in us than we have in him.
76. The trouble with shut-minded people is that they more often than not come with an open oral cavity.
77. Sorry I'm late, it'south just that I didn't want to come up.
78. In the sentence "He woke upward early.", the subject is… Sleepy.
79. Are you happy? Pace on the scale, and that goes abroad.
80. I don't drib hints; I only drop some facts discreetly in forepart of someone with the intent of them not directly realizing it.
81. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make information technology… Because I don't want to!
82. The day your opinion is a chocolate block, I'll want it!
83. Irony is like blush: if you don't know how, don't use it.
84. There are only two types of people: those who agree with me and those who are wrong.
85. Dear math: please, be a grown upward and solve your bug by yourself.
86. If you're the kind of person that has no adept luck, when yous see the lite at the end of the tunnel…run, considering the train is coming.
Funny things to say – 87. Don't let anything bring you downward – just recollect that even a kick in your ass pushes your frontward.
88. Giving up is for weak people. Be like me, don´t even try.
89. Stop trying. Get-go giving up.
90. Are you with him for beloved or some other involvement? It must be love, since I accept no interest in him at all…
91. If y'all fight with a woman, she's either right or you're incorrect.
92. If aught is impossible, then I've been doing the impossible for years.
93. Jeez, how dark information technology is in here, right? I don't know, I tin can't see anything.
94. I clean my firm almost every day. I almost cleaned on Monday, about cleaned it on Tuesday, almost cleaned it on Midweek…
95. There are ii types of people: the ones that finish their sentences and the ones that…
96. Me, sexist? If there is i matter I despise, is sexism. That, and women.
97. A sense of humor is the feeling that makes express mirth of something that would brand you mad if it happened to you.
98. If y'all desire to be recognized, don't worry. When yous make a error, you will be.
99. The perfect human doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't get home late, doesn't cheat… Well, doesn't be.
100. Don't beat out yourself up. A new showtime is just a new chance for failure.
More for y'all:
91 Short Jokes // 172 Dad Jokes // 91 Corny Jokes // 75 Stupid Jokes // 82 Dark Humour Jokes
82 Chuck Norris Jokes // 91 Yo Mama Jokes // 154 Bad Jokes // 118 Bad Dad Jokes
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Catarina is a author earlier and higher up everything else. She has a background in Law and has been working mainly as a translator, waiting for a big idea to become her large break. Meanwhile, she continues her studies, obsessively listens to music, sings in the shower… and everywhere else, hoping that inspiration eventually pays a visit.
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